Whose Line Is It Anyway - #27

The Citizen

Last night, I was trying to engage my 10 year old son on his thoughts on some of the ballot measures for the upcoming election relating to environment, education, need for gun control etc. Then the talk turned towards Fifth amendment - right not to implicate oneself and to remain silent. The young one thought the Fifth amendment was particularly not good as it might help offenders and not help police to bring them to justice. I had to concur that time.

A while after this happened, unrelated to above, my son started pestering me to buy the latest Harry Potter book. Since I wasn't sure of the content, I tried to be evasive and gave circuitous answers. He kept on pestering. After one such evasive attempt from me, he shot back - "you haven't answered the question about the book". Trying to put a comic spin on this, I replied - "I invoke my Fifth amendment right". My son, though dismayed, couldn't suppress his smile and left. But within a moment, he came back with a composed face answered, "I am trying hard not to say I invoke my second amendment right" !!!

Now, given a smart reply like that how can I remain without ordering the books he wanted.

Pesum Porchithiramae ! - #5

Maanasi is known for her improv songs and tunes. On one such occasion when the little "maestro" was on a roll, my wife wanted me to bring the cellphone to take a video but wanted to make sure the little one does not get self conscious and stops singing. So, my wife conveyed the message in Hindi and ended her message with "Q-U-I-E-T". The 5yr old's mind was sharp enough to figure out that her mom is talking about her in Hindi. She got the end part of it and questioned "did you tell appa I am "CUTE" ..but realizing that cute starts with a C and not Q, she doubted "but you started with a Q and not a C". After a moment's pause, the little genius figured it all out - with a contented smile remarked "Oh, in Hindi, CUTE starts with a Q - right ?".  For you cutie, of course it will !!

The other day when it was "bring-your-kids-to-work" at my office, we were walking along the hallways and the little one had noticed that office rooms had the names of the people near the door.  We crossed a lab facility and an employee in lab coat opened the door to enter, she noticed that and asked me "so, that person's name is "Lab"?"

In our mother tongue Tamil, typically "di" is a suffix used for feminine gender and "da" for masculine. But then there are also words ending with "di" which have no gender reference. Once such term is "milagapudi" which means chilli powder. milaga=chilli, pudi/podi=powder, our kids' favorite side dish for Dosa/idli. On one dosa dinner evening, she was musing over the term milagapudi and asked, "why is it milagapudi and not milagapuDA ? is milagapudi a girl or what ?". Even before my wife and I could start laughing, the etymologist in her 10yr old brother confirmed, "Of course, girls annoy and hurt people, so milagapudi IS a girl". Biggest grammatical mystery of our ancient language solved. By the way, she also categorized Sunflower to be of masculine gender. Her explanation is - Sunflower in Tamil is "Suriya-kanthi" and Suriya is a boy's name. So there you go. Tamil feels blessed.

Whose Line Is It Anyway ? - #26

The red honeysuckle flowers in our backyard regularly attract hummingbirds regularly and the scene of the birds feeding on the flowers never fail to provide visual feast every time. During one such sighting, my son - 10yr old - was trying to explain to his grandma the details. He mentioned the one feeding then was a "boy" bird as they are the ones that sport a colorful plume and that "girl" humming birds are dull gray. I pitched in to explain  and then realized he is only 10yrs old and hence corrected myself saying that he is right and that I will explain him the reason for the color scheme once he is in middle school. Without missing a beat, he replied - "that is so because the male uses its color to attracts the female". While every one else couldn't stop laughing, I was speechless but at the same time, determined not to prolong the discussion on "those" lines at least for now.  

Today, it was "bring-your-kids-to-work" at my office. My employer had made good arrangements for their entertainment and learning. It started with name tag, which on their reverse, sported the name of one of the job descriptions at my workplace. It also mentioned the hourly/yearly wage and expected growth in demand etc. I noticed my son had got a card that talked about a "Financial Analyst" position. It mentioned $38/hr pay. I commented it is a good job and that his mom, who did her CPA, could be a candidate for that and that he can aspire to become one when he grows up. My son was not impressed. His reason was, it was still less pay compared what I earned and that he has to earn at least one cent an hour more than me. Never before have I felt so happy (and proud!!) upon hearing someone wanting to beat me at the race. 

Pesum Porchithiramae ! - #4

Maanasi is attending Tamil classes and the effect of tamil alphabets are catching up to her fast. Recently a fly got into our house. She was so excited and ran up to her mom, yelling - "Amma, ee vandathu - NEDIL -ee vandathu".  Now, that is what is called "dotting-the-i's-and-crossing-the-T's" - just to be sure !

Like in most preschoolers life, once we were talking about the day she was born etc. She found it amusing up until the point where her mom mentioned how she looked when she was born. An ever aware fashionista that she is turning out to be, she interrupted, "was I wearing diapers when I was born". The "cold truth" did not sit well with her. She got upset. After lot of talking, she got convinced only after learning her older brother was born the same way too - not wearing anything. As long as they both are even, she is fine.

A bunch of neighborhood boys who are friends of her brother were at our place for playtime. Her friends haven't showed up for the day. The little one's face was forlorn - priceless expression. My wife told me in Hindi, a language the little one doesn't know yet, to observe her expression. Though she didn't understand a word, the curious mind figured out my wife was talking about her. Scanning the words for any similarity with her vocabulary, she retorted, "what you said sounded like Kashta Kachori" - one of the few Hindi words she knew from restaurant visits. Sweet and not spicy !

Another day was Ramayana story discussion. My wife was quizzing her after that just to make sure she listened. When time care for the question on which animal did Rama encounter in the forest, without hesitation came the reply - "a golden REINDEER".  Not sure what would follow next in her version of Ramayana - a meeting between Santa Claus and Rama, perhaps. 

Pesum Porchithiramae ! - #3

When my "azhagi" was ~3yrs old, she was on her quest to learn letters. In their room, there is a name board with their names on it - ones that my wife and I painted from scratch. It read - Sanjay - in one, Maanasi in other. When she was 3yrs old, we called her "baby" and she liked being the baby of the house. So one day, she asked what was written there. I pointed to her brother's name plate, spelled it and said "Sanjay". She realized that her name is on the next one. So, immediately spelled out "m-a-a-n-a-s-i." and exclaimed "baby" !!!

Up until she was 3yrs old, our "kutti mooki's" animal world was as simplistic as it can be and everyone was happy - all birds that fly in the sky are "crows", all birds that walk are "ducks" and all insects are "bees". Right there, Carl Linnaeus would have taken her under his tutelage without hesitation.

One day Maanasi came back complaining about something that she didn't like in school . The school site had some construction work going on and there was a lot of echo in her classroom. The main complaint she had was the echo was copying her,  she did not have a good feeling of the echo copying whatever she saying. We didn't bother to explain her and ruin the cute disappointed expression she was sporting.

Maanasi's preschool recently got a new director for the school we were discussing about the director at home at that time she asked what the director does at school. We explained that she's the one who is taking care of all the schools activities and its working. She had a quizzical look on her face and with the extreme cuteness she replied, "I have never seen her doing anything. All she does is sit in a corner and watch". Sometimes you got  to leave it to a kid to call things as they are - things that we adults are socially constrained to speak out loud. Bliss of childhood !!

During her early preschool days, she was going through a phase that her brother went through as well - and that is - all things have a name and sometimes the name is written on it.  We drove past our grocery store complex and she knew the name of the store. Hence, equipped with her newly acquired wisdom and alphanumeric skills, from the distance she read out loud -  "V - ZERO - N - S.... Vons". Okay, the store people need to make some font distinction to help out a young learner here. Zero and O do look awfully similar.You can't blame Her Cuteness for this mistake.

Whose Line Is It Anyway -- #25

Recently, I was driving the 10 year old boy, who was sitting next to the driver's seat - never misses any chance to claim his privileges. We passed a gas trailer carrying petrol. He noticed the caution "No smoking nearby" written on it, he read it out loud then turned quizzical and commented "How Ironic they have the message there..". My simple brain couldn't immediately spot the irony. I replied that it's a fact that smoke will make the petrol explode etc etc. He corrected me, "that's not it. Petrol when burnt causes all the smoke. But they don't want smoke near by petrol itself". I was dumbstruck and proud at the same time enjoying his play on the word "smoke" and also his pro-nature outlook. 

Some more lines from an even younger Sanjay -

When Sanjay was 6yrs old, we did an allergy test on him as recommended by a dermatologist for a skin rash. The allergy result came back and everything was fine except that he is allergic to dogs. Suddenly his face brightened up, having got the answer to the one question that was troubling him so far. With a sigh of relief, he concluded - "So that's why I am afraid of dogs".

During our visit to the crocodile farm near Mahabalipuram, we were strolling along the exhibits. Sanjay, 6yrs old then, was studiously and cautiously looking at them. When we neared one exhibit, he pointed to the circular pond in the center of that and exclaimed - "there's an iPond there". We were puzzled and wondered if he is mixing it up with ipad/iphone related things. He clarified himself. The earlier exhibits had a mound of land in them middle surrounded by water and the beasts rested there for sun. His mom was explaining it as an "island" - land surrounded by water.  Now he say a circular body of water surrounded by land - so it became a ispond". How can you question that - after all English is a funny language !