Remembering My Father - #2 - My Childhood

Being a father myself and trying hard to perform the paternal duties to my satisfaction, now I fully realize how high a standard my father had set for us in this regard.

During my child hood days, father was always this person whom we went to for getting anything we wanted - be it a notebook or chocolate. I dont remember him pampering me a lot (partly because I was the older kid). I vividly remember his strictness for various aspects of life - not wasting food, or for that matter, not wasting anything, having healthy reading habits and life style, being prudent when it comes to handling money. Being the truant school boys that we were, me and my brother provided him with ample chances to provoke his temper and there after enforce his principles upon us - right from being tardy in maintaining our bicycles to not switching off the lights after usage. But back then, that seemed perfectly normal. He just wants us to follow certain things in life. So what, No big deal. We, atleast I for one, literally had no clue as to what was getting imbibed into our subconscious mind because of our father's actions. And neither did we know that one day those very same qualities he was trying to grill into our minds would come to define who we are as well.

Whether it was a characteristic trait or a material possession that my father wanted his kids to have, he had only one of the following two reasons for that in his mind -

Either it is something he missed/lacked in himself and hence wanted to ensure we had it,

or, it is something he felt that is needed for our betterment based on his life experiences.

And all the while his goal was simple enough to state too - his kids should have a good childhood and life.

There are lot of instances that immediately flash in my memory which fall into either of the two reasonings I just mentioned. And trust me, not until recently did I fully understood or appreciated my father's intentions and thoughts behind many of his actions.

My father laid great emphasis on education and the need for having a well rounded curriculum. Looking back this is something where me and my brother gave him the least headache. Anything related to school, curriculum or extra currics will be immediately encouraged and adequately funded. But more than funding and encouragement, its the involvement and effort he put in that made the difference. When I visited my school during my college days to meet my teachers, I was pleasantly surprised when one of them enquired about how my father was doing and went on to mention to her colleague how my father was very much involved with our education. To be frank, that was the first incident from when I started realising what my father had indeed accomplished.

I still vividly remember the lengths to which he went to make us learn Hindi. Learning Hindi was something he couldnt achieve because of his family financial constraints. His naive but noble thought had been that Hindi will help us find better prospects outside of our state in India. He literally used to take me to the Hindi class in his bicycle. Since the class standard was bit high for a person of my age then, he wanted to make sure that he is complementing that with added coaching from his side. Though a stranger to Hindi, he would literally ask my teacher on what each book was and write that in English like "Prose", "Poetry", "Drama" etc. As part of one of the exams, we had to pass in a native language paper- Tamil. The syllabi for that included a considerable portion of a great tamil epic - "Vaali Vathai Padalam" for those who care. Typically thats something a college grad tries to master and I was just a sixth grader. My father took the onus to himself and in the weekends of the following six months taught me the entire stuff good enough to get me a good score let alone a passing score. Not only did he start setting standards for me as father, he also sowed seeds for interest in tamil literature in me.

His literary thurst also made him to take me to Kamban Vizha's which are literary discourses of the highest quality. Oblivious of the effects, I used to just accompany him but then I started enjoying whatever I could understand from that.

When it was time for me to attend a weeklong camp for Boy Scouts at a place some 200 km from my home, I was the only student who was not dropped off by his scout master but rather than by his father.

After my college, my father accompanied me on my first trip to Bangalore for my work. Not just that, he even came with me right upto the work place on my first day and started telling about me to my boss. I was like "Dad, please stop". My boss was in all big smiles on seeing my predicament. Even to this day, my ex-boss still remembers the incident in a lighter vein. However embarrassing it was to me then, now years after that, when I leave my son at his preschool and see him sitting with his friends, I can understand the feelings my father would have had on my first-day at work.

The above said are just a sample of what he did that I managed to recollect now. What stands out distinctively is not just his intentions but the extent to which he had spent his time and energy to get his kids a better childhood - be it good education or seeing them recognized and appreciated for their talents.

If you take into account the leverage I have had because of him, these are some feats which leave me wondering if I would ever be able to match up in kind for my kid. Tall orders, for sure.