There are moments in every parents' life that makes them suddenly aware that the kids are no longer young and innocent toddlers or elementary kids but they are growing up - pretty fast at that - with their own personalities and thought process. It kinds of hits you in an unexpected sometimes vulnerable moment. Once such moment for me arrived today.
Saturday morning breakfast, my pre-teen and his 8yr old sibling were having an argument. In my usual parental instinct I wanted to steer that argument away from being caustic, I wondered out loud - "Are any of you making anybody happy or feel valued by your arguments ?". The first ambush for me came from unexpected quarters when the 8yr old quipped "I am making myself happy...". In an attempt to regain my composure, I managed "Doesn't that only make you selfish ?". The 8yr old still didn't miss a beat "Well, he is also behaving the same way" a direct reference at her brother. I thought I had regained some control hence replied "Well that just makes two selfish people. How's that any better".. When I was about to breath a sigh of victory, the decisive blow to me came from my so-far-quiet but sharp-tongued pre-teen, "Well, by both of us being selfish, we make each other feel not bad about being selfish ourselves..." I couldn't muster a comeback to be honest. I wasn't sure if I should feel good about their debating prowess or feel bad about left with no ammunition myself. Regardless, when it comes to confronting either me or their mother, these two youngsters quickly form a coalition for sure.
Time to rethink my strategy.
Time to rethink my strategy.
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